Last year I went through a pretty heavy break up. In this break up I lost the kitchen table and the spare bed. Really not that big a deal in my mind, until my parents decided to come to visit me for Thanksgiving. Then it became a HUGE deal that I had neither a bed for them, nor a table upon which to eat dinner. Because, apparently, parents can be pretty needy when it comes to things like sleeping and eating.
I had to think fast. I didn't have extra money to spend on "furniture." That's a grown-up thing to spend money on, and I was busy spending it on things like Movies On Demand and wine (shh- lonely). So I decided it'd be a great idea to call Rent-A-Center. And yes- THEY HAD BEDS AND KITCHEN TABLES FOR RENT! Problem solved.
When I called them they asked for the phone numbers of 4 references. Really, Rent-A-Center? Because I own both a house and a car, and I'm fairly certain nobody made any phone calls to check if I'd be ok with these items. So with large amounts of scoff I gave them two stupid friends and then my parents and my boss at work, and politely asked them not to call either my parents or my boss, because what kind of loser rents a bed and a table, and has Rent-A-Center calling about them? Of course, they called both my parents AND my boss to ask if I was a responsible person.
I very quickly received phone calls from my parents and my boss asking if I had recently developed a meth problem or did I need to borrow some money. Awesome. Now my parents think I'm a loser who can't keep a girlfriend or furniture. When they came to visit they brought me a bunch of other things they though I'd need. Like forks. Many, many forks. Mom- the population of my house has just decreased by half. I get by on 2 a week now. Then I wondered if she thought that having extra forks would make me more attractive to potential girlfriends. As in, "I live in a world of abundance, ladies. Just open the drawer and see."
It's one year later and now I own (own, own, OWN!) both a spare bed and a kitchen table. And a new dishwasher to wash all my forks in. Abundance, I tell you. Abundance!
